How It All Started: A Journey Through My Early Years

I was born in 1978, and some of my earliest memories begin in the 1980s. This is a walk through my life as I remember it—some pieces from photos, some from stories told to me, but mostly from the vivid recollections that have stayed with me.

🌾 The Country Life

My childhood began on a sprawling 10-acre property—a kid’s dream. My dad owned a construction company, and I believe my mom was a stay-at-home mom at the time. Our land was shaped like an “L,” wrapping around the house. To the left was a horse pasture, and behind the house sat a small backyard that led to a three-car garage. Beyond that? Paradise: a race track for our three- and four-wheelers, and a lake that shimmered with possibility.

I spent countless days riding my three-wheeler, tearing through mud, flipping it over, getting stuck, and laughing through it all. I was fearless then.

That house held many of my firsts:

• The first time I got in trouble—for drawing roads on the fireplace for my Matchbox cars.

• The first time I got stitches—after being bitten by my own dog.

• My first school bus ride.

• My first horseback ride.

• My first scary movie (Jaws!).

• And the unforgettable lesson that pigs named Supper and Dinner were not pets—they were dinner.

💔 A Shift in the Landscape

By the mid-80s, things began to change. My mom asked my dad for a divorce. I didn’t understand much, only that she didn’t like how much he drank. My brother, mom, and I moved into a neighborhood surrounded by houses—no more open fields, no more race tracks.

I was around six years old, just starting first grade. My mom enrolled in nursing school, determined to build a life of independence. It was during this time she met Tom, who would later become my first stepdad.

🥃 A Complicated Home

By second grade, we had moved in with Tom and his two sons. My mom was finishing her nursing degree, and my dad was mostly absent. When he did show up, weekends were spent in bars. I knew how to mix drinks before I knew how to multiply numbers.

Life became confusing. I was a child, trusting the adults around me because I didn’t know any different. My mom worked night shifts, and I began sleeping in Tom’s bed. He started buying me lacey underwear and asking me to dance for him when my mom wasn’t home. I didn’t understand what was happening. I just did what I was told.

🚨 The Silence and the Secrets

My mom and Tom bowled on Tuesday and Thursday nights. I dreaded those evenings. That’s when Darrell, my stepbrother, would come into my room. It started with questions—“How does this feel?”—and escalated into things I didn’t understand. Eventually, it became sex. I didn’t know what it was. No one had ever talked to me about it.

It continued until I was about ten, when my older stepbrother Brian caught us. A fight broke out between the boys while our parents were out. When they returned and saw the damage, Brian told them what had happened. But neither my mom nor Tom acknowledged it. After that night, Brian stayed home on bowling nights. He became my protector.